Being Dad: Day -140

A bodily audit

This feels like the defining day. Just like the day of the positive test. The heartbeat during the six-week scan. The 11-week scan, seemingly getting through the most precarious period. Finding out the gender. And now, learning if our child has all its vital organs and digits.

We were given the option of finding out about any genetic abnormalities as well, which we have opted to do. As with the gender, where my assumption was wrong, I’d also like to get any surprises ahead of time.

This scan was at a different facility, in a bigger room, with a larger screen to display what we were looking at. Even the chairs were comfier. It was like watching a movie at the cinema as opposed to home.

The pass was also more comprehensive than the two previous. Every finger, toe, and internal organ audited. That meant plenty of time for my nerves to wobble, heart pound, and anxiety lift off - particularly when a body part took a little longer to be accounted for.

I’m sure these were situations of mere seconds, but when the professional in the room displays mild confusion while surveying your first child, something you are already more attached to than yourself, it still feels like forever.

All was as we had hoped.

I expected this to make it feel the all more real, but every appointment seems to present checkpoints yet to be passed. So, I’m left thinking meeting this baby on the other side of a screen still feels a long way away.

When the lights came back on, I exhaled. Another one down.